Dragon King of Escalation Redux
by Prismatic Glaive
Summary: Power Corrupts, Absolute Power corrupts absolutely. When a young man is dropped into a word of breast powered dragon, panty powered dragon king, battle hungry hip obsessed dragon, siscon devils, perverted crows, and overly sexualized under-aged girls, can he still retain his sanity? With the ever growing power at his side, read how the Lolicon Dragon King rise!
1. Chapter 1

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for my OCs.

Synopsis: Power Corrupts, Absolute Power corrupts absolutely. When a young man is dropped into a word of breast powered dragon, panty powered dragon, battle hungry hip obsessed dragon, siscon devils, perverted crows, and overly sexualized under-aged girls, can he still retain his sanity? With the ever growing power at his side, read how the Lolicon Dragon King rise!

* * *

 **Dragon King of Escalation**

* * *

Some says that the sun's morning rays are the most refreshing thing in the morning. It gives us vitamins that our body needs. It invigorates us and gives us energy.

Meerkats are one of the species that loves the morning sun. Whenever they exit their burrow in the morning, they are always groggy and sometimes falling down due to drowsiness. However, with just a few minutes of exposure to the morning sun, they are wide awake like a man on coffee.

The old people also say that the morning sun is the best. Even the exercising aunties on the park say that it is the best. But not for me. For me, the morning sun is nothing but nuisance. It is an accursed floating ball of gases.

Why? Because it's a constant reminder that I have to get up and go to school.

Do I want the sun to disappear? No... I want it to remain as is... You might be wondering why I hate the sun but want it to remain, right? Well, the answer is simple: The plants grow due to the sun. Animals eat the plants. I eat the animals. Basic deduction, you can easily find out how...

Eh? You still don't get it? Okay, I'll explain it a bit more...

The Plants or Producers store energy through photosynthesis by using the minerals and water it gathers from the ground and using the sunlight to start a chemical reaction that transforms these resources into basic elements that it stores in its body. Then, the Animals or the Primary Consumers eat these plants and the energy stored in these plants is transferred to the animals. Then we, the Humans consume these animals and the leftover energy is passed on to us.

So if there is no sun, the plants cannot grow. If the plants cannot grow, the animals will have nothing to eat and die. When the animals die, I'll have nothing to eat and die. In short: Sun = food...

Simple right?

* * *

 **Dragon King of Escalation**

* * *

My daily routine is fairly simple. I wake up and make my bed. Go into the shower to do my daily hygienic needs, dress up and then go to the kitchen to eat breakfast. After I've eaten my fill, I brush my teeth and then laze around until it's time for me to go to school.

And then I survive the entire day, go back home and then the real fun beings. I sit in my throne (computer seat) and open the gate towards the r*ot of A*a*ha (boot up the PC and go to the internet). I then scour the endless fields of knowledge for worlds to travel to (lurk in the web and look for any good games and/or novel series) until I go back to my slumber.

That is what it's supposed to happen. But regrettably, it will not.. Why? Because I died. Yup, you heard it right Ladies and Gentlemen (and potatoes). I died today while I'm on my way to school.

Oh Right! I've already told you what I do every day but you still don't know me right? Well, it's still not too late for introductions... Now without further ado!

My name is [Redacted]. What? You think I'll divulge personal info here? Nope! No sir... nu uh... nope... nada... anyways, back to topic... I'm 17 years old, and currently on Eleventh Grade in [Redacted].

Anyways, my previous appearance is not relevant to this story...

The road to my school was nothing special, just your generic neighborhood. Arriving at an intersection, a familiar voice greeted me.

"Hey! Did you wait long?"

Introducing the School's Student Council President [insert generic name here] with [insert generic Asian characteristics here]. And also my girlfriend... Yup! My girlfriend is the Student Council President...

Ha! Take that you stupid dense protagonists!

"Nah, just got here..."

Da*n, no matter how many times I say it, it still sounds so cool!

So we walked together towards our school, chatting about random things from who dated who to unraveling the secrets of the universe. As we stopped by an intersection, I noticed this cute little girl chasing after her balloon in the middle of the road with a speeding truck not so far in the distance that doesn't seem to notice the little girl.

So being the good citizen I am that believes in the notion that the children are the hope of the country, I used my hands to signal the truck to stop.

What?

You expect me to jump in from of that truck to save that little girl that I barely knew? Well, excuse me for having common sense and a sense of value for my own live. I like living, thank you very much!

A few moments later, we were back on our way to school.

On our way to school, we passed by a construction site. Now you might be thinking that ' hey! This is the part where he dies!' but sorry to burst your bubble but nothing happened. The real deal happened after that...

Now my death isn't all that clichéd or special. It's as simple as that: I died. No crash, no poof, no hocus pokus or any other shenanigans. I am just walking with my Girlfriend and then I died. You don't believe me? Well I don't either.

I mean, people just don't die like that you know? Slipping on something and hitting my head in concrete then die, that I can accept. Heck, a good old falling pot to the head or being run over by a car would've been acceptable... But just dropping dead like that in the middle of a conversation? Now that's just unfair!

I still have lots of anime, games, manga and novels to finish! Oh, and I still have a date this weekend!

GOD! I WANT A REFUND!

The last thing I saw was the weeping face of my girlfriend...

* * *

 **Dragon King of Loliconning**

* * *

When I came to all I saw was white...

Looking around me, all I saw was a vast expanse of pure white. I tried to lift my body upright, only then I realized I was floating. My mind was racing a hundred thoughts per minute, thinking how, why and what is this place.

Then it suddenly hit me like a speeding bullet train. I was _dead_...

Not dead as in 'dead inside' or 'forever alone' kind of dead but more like Game Over kind of dead...

"So if I'm dead, then where the heck am I?"

I know that this is neither heaven nor hell. Purgatory maybe? Or am I in Limbo? Huh, it's kinda ironic that I ended up is some kind of Limbo after reading Dante Alighieri's Inferno...

And then suddenly I'm standing on solid ground. What? Didn't I just say I was floating? Yes I was floating. I was floating but now I'm standing on the ground. Confusing isn't it?

Imagine this, you are floating when suddenly you feel your feet touch the ground and gravity took over.

Done? Then that's what happened.

A bright light suddenly shines directly in front of me. I looked at the ground and used my hands to shield my eyes from the sheer intensity (don't go to the white light!).

When the light subsided, I slowly opened my eyes and I immediately noticed the change in the empty space.

Instead of an ever encompassing field of nothing, what greeted me was white.

White walls, white ceiling, and white floor. Heck, even the furniture that suddenly appeared was white!

Then I suddenly noticed I was sitting on a chair with a white table in front of me.

 **What?!** How in the name of ORT's tentacles?! I was clearly standing just now! So, why am I sitting now?!

'Okay, take a deep breath,' I mentally told myself. 'Just... just ignore the madness, it'll go away. Hopefully.'

 _Just let go._

Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Repeat.

Okay, I'm calm now.

I leaned on the white table in front of me. Running a hand through its surface, it felt quite coarse. Probably made from a wood of some kind.

Finally, I set my eyes on; who I can clearly tell was the cause of all this madness, the white silhouette seated on the opposite side of the table. It has no features, just like a white shadow. Somehow, I'm reminded of Truth from F*ll Me*al Al*hemist.

I stared at it unblinking. Silence reigned on the room for a few minutes until I finally opened my mouth.

"So let me guess, ROB?" I asked.

" **Yes** " It replied.

Its voice was difficult to explain. It's as if the amalgamation of various voices, both male and female, young and old, gentle and rough, etc.

I pursed my lips.

I've read enough Self-Insert fics to know how this song and dance is gonna go.

Either this one is a benevolent ROB that will actually give me a boon before sending me to a universe it or I chose.

Or a BROB that just wants to gloat at me before flinging me to a random grimderp universe for its amusement.

Oh, and the chance of me returning is pretty much nil.

"So, lay it on me," I told it.

" **Hmmm... You are not like the others** ," It said. " **Usually, they would panic and start screaming. So why didn't you?** "

I leaned forward, crossing my fingers in front of my face.

"A valuable lesson I've learned from this short life of mine, is that to give no f*cks and just go with the flow."

" **Really?** " It asked as it leaned towards me. " **You are not gonna bitch and moan about how unfair it is for me to just take you from your rather blessed life?** "

"Meh," I leaned back and shrugged. "Would that change anything? It already happened, so nothing I can do about that. Sure, I'm furious about you suddenly taking me away like that, but what can I do to a being such as yourself? I like living, and whining at you is probably a sure way to commit suicide via foot in mouth."

At my reply, a line opened on its face, revealing rows of pointy teeth that would fell right at home with the other Outer Gods, mimicking a mockery of a smile.

" **Hahahahahahahaha! Interesting! Absolutely Interesting! It looks like this was a correct choice after all!** "

While the being was laughing its ass off, I remained silent as I reflected the emotions I'm feeling right now. Sure I'm initially confused and furious that of all the people, why was it me? Then, I think back to my, now former, life. I had lived a fairly good, albeit short life.

A few moments later and the being stopped its mad laughter.

" **You already know how this will go, right?** "

I nodded at its question. The large grin marring its face became much larger. I mean, the previous one looked normal, but the current one actually took half of its entire face!

" **Very well. But before we move on, let me introduce myself.** " It said as it stood up and gave a small bow. " **I am Great Red.** "

My eyebrow rose at that. I only know of one Great Red. And the being in front of me is clearly no dragon.

As if reading my mind, the creature went back to its seat and continued.

" **Ah, even though I am the Dragon of Dreams, breaking through the barriers between realities takes a massive amount of energy, thus I can only take this form. Moving on** ," It swiped its hand on the air in front of it, and then a hologram of Earth appeared at the center of the table. " **You'll be going to my world, the DxD world. Its history is the same as the one where you came from; however, most of the myths and legends are actually real in that world.** "

I nodded my head at its explanation. It's good that I won't have to waste time going to a library when I'm dropped there.

" **Although Ophis and her small band of misfits don't pose a smidgen of threat against me, as a Dragon I have my pride to respond to her challenge. However, me going personally is quite overkill so I chose you to become my champion and eliminate Khaos Brigade. As for why I didn't choose from my world, bringing in foreign elements would make things more interesting.** "

I remained silent as I slowly digest the information that was dumped on me. A few minutes later and I opened my mouth.

"So let me get this straight, your pride as a Dragon won't let Ophis' challenge go unanswered and you chose me to make it more interesting?" I asked it. "So, why me? What can an ordinary guy like me do in a world of ridiculously overpowered perverts? I mean, why not choose someone with actual power?"

" **Hahahaha!** " Great Red answered my question with laugher. A few seconds later and a cube of some sort appeared on its outstretched hand.

" **Worry not** ," It said. " **I won't send you there without an incentive. This here is something I encountered during my time when I was looking for someone suitable. You could say it's a _Shard_ of power from a _Dragon_ warlord. I can say that you're extremely familiar with this.**"

The way it emphasized the words Shard and Dragon warlord seemed suspicious. I looked at the object in its hand and thought about anything that is related to Shard and Dragon.

First are dragons. Great Red saying I'm familiar with it probably means that I know the series from where it comes from. I mentally listed all the anime, manga, and novels that I know with dragons in it.

K*bayashi's Ma*d Dra*on is out. So too is D*agon Cr*sis and the T*pe-Mo*n Universe. Chinese Wuxia and Xianxia novels are also out. Hmmm… The only ones with dragons and power that I can think of is F*iry Ta*l however, the object in Great Red's arm doesn't look like a lacrima. It being from the DxD universe is also plausible. From an Isekai novel? Nope.

Hmm… Let's try shards of power then. The only thing with Shards that come to my mind is Worm Serial.

Wait. Worm, Dragon… **LUNG**?!

"A-are you telling me that," I said as I pointed at the object at Great Red's hand. "Is Lung's shard?"

" **Ah, took you long enough. To answer your question, it's both yes and no. Yes because I took this Shard from the Control of the Warrior Entity. No because I modified it to make it fit in to my world**."

The cube shot suddenly shot out towards my chest. In my surprise, I leaned back too far that I knocked down my chair.

"Ow!" I said as I slowly stood up.

Looking at my torso, there doesn't seem to be any signs that a cube as large as a palm just entered my chest.

" **Now go forth and entertain me _Hyoudou Issei_!**" Great Red said as a large portal suddenly opened beneath me.

"Wait-" My question was left unsaid as I fell through the hole between reality.

* * *

 **Dragon King of Loliconning**

* * *

In a vast space of ever-changing Kaleidoscope of colors, a large red western dragon opened its eyes. Its golden reptilian eyes narrowed as it sensed a familiar presence appear within its domain.

With a flap of its large wings, the dragon shot forth, moving at great speeds and it performs barrel rolls and motorcycle stunts.

The Dragon of Dreams was getting bored. Whenever the Ouroboros Dragon was not around, it would spend its time looking through the vast multiverse. However, whenever its counterpart appears, the True Dragon proceeds to irritate it by doing stunts and flips while screaming "Wheee~" the entire time.

Needless to say that the Infinite Dragon God was pissed to the point of raising an entire army just to kick it out of the Dimension Gap.

Now however, the boredom of DxD was about to be broken. Just one soul, one of darkness covered in light.

What Great Red didn't say to him was that his soul was an oddity among anything the Dragon has seen. A contradiction, an abomination. He shouldn't have existed.

When Great Red looked at his history, the seventeen year old boy was way past his time. He was supposed to die at birth, yet he survived. He was supposed to live in misery, yet he managed to live leisurely. He had no dreams, no ambitions. He was just living life because it was necessary to live according to human standards. The way his mind works is so alien that if the Dragon of Dreams didn't see his full history, he would have thought that he was an alien in this reality cluster.

The Dragon of Dreams saw him as a raw diamond that needed polishing to become _'his'_ successor. With the conflicts in his home reality, there is a great chance of him honing his nature. Well, being entertained is just a good side effect.

If he failed to show his true nature, then Great Red would just send him to another reality. The Dragon God of Dreams and Illusions was powerful and patient. He can endure waiting for eternity as it grooms him to take up _'his_ ' mantle.

For Eons it has waited. It can wait for Eons more.


	2. Chapter 2

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for my OCs.

Synopsis: Power Corrupts, Absolute Power corrupts absolutely. When a young man is dropped into a word of breast powered dragon, panty powered dragon, battle hungry hip obsessed dragon, siscon devils, perverted crows, and overly sexualized under-aged girls, can he still retain his sanity? With the ever growing power at his side, read how the Lolicon Dragon King rise!

* * *

 **Dragon King of Escalation**

* * *

Usually, waking up would be nothing special as it happens to us every day. Your consciousness returns as your eyes slowly open, not all that interesting. But when you wake up to an unfamiliar ceiling of an unfamiliar room, things get interesting.

'It's either I'm kidnapped or I got drunk and fell asleep on someone's room, again' I thought. 'If so, the first would be a novel experience and if it's the former, then I better prepare my 'sorry-I-did-that-thing-and-it-won't-happen-again' speech.'

With the lack of constraints, I can rule out the kidnapping. The latter it is…

'Although being kidnapped by a ROB and sent on a multi-dimensional adventure would not be unwelcomed.' I mentally joked.

Wait. that sounds eerily familiar...

'BY ORT's TENTACLES!' I screamed mentally as memories surfaced to the forefront of my mind.

"So, let's review what happened," I said as I cup my chin with my hand, posing as if I'm Chinese philosopher.

Although there's this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that keeps telling me something's amiss.

"My day started started with cursing the sun, then the daily meetup, next saving a cute girl, after that is suddenly dying, afterwards talking to Great Red, and finally being dropped in a portal as he say something about _Hyoudou... Issei..._ "

My eyes widened like saucers as I recalled what the Dragon of Dragons said.

Quickly running to the mirror in the corner of the room, I saw the reflection of someone staring back at me. My asshole tightened enough to create diamonds as I confirmed my suspicions.

That oversized Lizard didn't just Isekai'd me. He made me into the MC SELF-INSERT in a Battle Harem Fantasy!

"Okay. Calm down." I told myself as I took deep breaths. "In… Out… In… Out…"

"Okay, you're the Oppai pervert," I snorted a bit at that part," correction, a Super powered Oppai Obsessed pervert, with all of his memories. Note to self: kick that oversized reptile in the balls, if it has any, when you next see it."

'Okay, I more or less got the situation right so far.' I mentally gave myself a pat on the back for remembering all that happened so far and still staying calm. 'so all I need to do now is to find out how to survive in this world where factions were being led by overprotective siblings and perverts.'

"Wait, how far am I in the timeline anyway? If I wa-"

"Ise, get up already! You'll be late for your date with Yuuma-chan!" A sudden shout interrupts my monologue.

The door to my room opens revealing a _Issei's mother_. I winced a bit as a sudden headache assaults my head. _Issei's mother_ apparently noticed that and looks worried.

"Are you okay Ise?" She worriedly asks.

"No, I'm fine Kaa-san…" I replied.

"Are you sure?" she verifies. "If you'd like, I can call Yuuma-chan and tell her you're not feeling well today."

'Okay, so I'm at the very firs episode. So, do I throw canon off the rails, or should I follow canon?' I deliberated in my mind, and quickly arriving at an answer.

"Nah… I don't want to miss this opportunity." I replied as I gave a reassuring smile. "Besides, Matsuda and Motohama won't let it rest if hey found out that I got cold feet during my first date."

"If you're sure… But really Ise, you should stop hanging out with those two." She said.

"Hmmm… I'll think about it…" I told her. I AM planning to stop associating with those two sexual offenders.

"Really? Then I'll leave to get ready. And come down quickly, you don't want to be late for your date," she reminds me as she steps out of the room.

"Okay, I'll be down in a minute" I replied.

After a few minutes, I was on my way to where I was supposed to meet up with Raynare using Issei's memories to lead the way. As I was nearing the place, a flyer with a magic circle and the crest of Gremory was handed to me by a busty brunette in a bat-themed dress with scandalously short skirt. I took the flyer and stuffed it into my pocket as she moved away with a smile on her face.

Just as planned.

Speaking of plans, I decided to go according to canon and die by Raynare's hands to be resurrected by Rias into her peerage. Unlike most edgelord self-inserts, I really have no quarrels being under someone's authority.

Also, being a member of the peerage of a Satan's sister gives me a lot of protection once my power comes out. The only concern is that Fried Chicken. So her being a manipulative b*tch or her being a woobie doesn't really concern me as I can move out and make my own peerage once I hit High-Class.

And then there are my powers. Don't forget the powers. It turns out that I can actually feel my shard inside of me. But it feels like it's in a dormant state. As for Ddraig, I can feel a tiny silver of power from my chest running towards my left hand. Although I can't find out anything more than that.

I snapped out from my internal monologue as I arrive at the meeting place. Taking a quick look at my watch, I saw that I was five minutes early.

I took my phone and played a mobile game called Fate/Grand Order. Type-Moon exists on this world and this mobile game was released years earlier compared to my origin universe. And it turns out Issei is extremely lucky at Gacha that his Party is made up of NP3 and up SR and SSR Female Servants while remaining as a F2P player.

Damnit! I was a Whaler but I never have anything above NP2 SR and SSR barring freebie servants! All of my Salt!

After clearing a 40AP quest on Chaldea Gate using Shishou, Brynhildr, and Chichiue, I closed the game as a familiar voice greeted me.

"Heeey~" I look up to see Yuuma, wearing the same as in canon, running towards me while waving her hand.

She stopped a few inches away from me as she panted a little while giving me a small innocent smile.

"I'm sorry I'm a little bit late," she said as she straightened up. "Did you wait long?"

I forced myself to restrain a sneer and smile at her. Her sweet girl act is so obviously fake now that I'm actually the one interacting with her. If this was canon Issei, he would have been easily fooled.

But the one in his body is me now. I take pride on my ability to read people. And this chick in front of me is seriously irritated all the while dripping arrogance and sadism, all covered in a thick layer of false innocence and sweetness.

"Nah, I also just got here." I said as I hold out my hand. "Shall we?"

"Yes!" She said as she took my hand and walked beside me.

I followed what the old Issei planned. I took her to an arcade, then eating lunch at a nearby restaurant, next we checked the various stores in a nearby mall, and finally we arrived at the park.

As we approach the fountain, Raynare stopped and faced me.

"Hey Issei," She said as she held a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Yes? What is it Yuuma-chan." I answered, knowing exactly what will happen next.

"Will you die for me?" Buckle up boys! The fun ride's about to start!

I remained silent as Yuuma took a step back. Her clothes were shredded by an unseen force as a pair black wings shot from her back. A black leathery liquid appeared and barely covered her breasts and genital before hardening.

I suppress the twitching of my eye. The f*ck is up with that transformation sequence! She basically tore her clothes, appeared in the nude, before being covered in something that is barely decent!

I expected this, but seeing it with my own two eyes, I don't even have the words to respond to this madness!

Okay... Inhale... Exhale... Repeat...

Okay, I'm calm now.

Schooling my posture, I remained silent as the stripper crow begins to monologue.

"I enjoyed the date, you know?" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm before changing to one filled with mockery. "It's just like playing house with a child~"

I remained silent as I keep my eyes on her. My silence seems to irritate her more as her smug smile turned into a small scowl.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" She snapped at me.

Okay, calm down heart. I know I'm about to die, again, but keep calm. You'll get resurrected anyway.

Hey, speaking of which, I can afford to piss her off right now, right?

I mentally grinned.

"Nothing much," I said with my calmest voice. "I'm just wondering why the Scapegoat sent someone with sub par intelligence as you."

My words seem to have hit the intended effect as her scowl deepened.

She formed a spear of light above her. My asshole tightened with a force rivaling the pressure at the earth's core.

"Haha! Very funny!" She snarled at me. "Let's see if you can still joke after this!"

With a shout, she threw the spear right at me. Despite doing all I can to remain motionless, my body jumped on autopilot and moved to the side.

However, I was too slow resulting in the spear tearing a hole through my right pelvis.

 **Pain** engulfed my mind as I collapse on the cold hard concrete.

"If you want to blame anyone, blame God for putting that Sacred Gear in you." Saying the same thing she said in canon, Raynare fully unfolded her wings before vanishing in a flurry of black feathers.

I released the breath I was holding since the spear hit me. With trembling hands, I reached towards my right pocket.

 _The right pocket that was obliterated by the spear_.

FUUUUUCK!

Tears stream down my eyes as the **pain** intensified.

'So this is how I'll die, huh?' I thought.

Heh, I died only to be transposed by a Dragon God only to die again.

.

It looks like my luck has run out.

.

As I close my eyes, the dormant Shard begins to thrum with power.

My eyes snapped open as an intense pain assaulted my body. I let out a silent scream of agony as every nerve in my body was burning with pain! Black spots danced in my eyes as my body spasm from the mental feedback. I can feel my heart beating faster due to the pain, making me bleed out faster.

As my vision darkens, the last thing I saw was a flash of _Azure_ , and the sound of a voice that I would later know would belong to my future king.

* * *

 **Dragon King of Loliconning**

* * *

"Kaichou, what should we do?"

"His life force is rapidly declining; we have no choice but to make him my piece."

"Are you sure Kaichou? He is one of ' _them_ ' you know."

"Yes, I am aware. But as the Student Council President, I can't afford to let a student die."

"But Rias-sama has already set her eyes on him."

"I know. But even if we did call Rias, it would be too late as his soul has already entered the cycle of Reincarnation."

"I see, then I suppose we should start immediately."

"Very well. Hmm?"

"What is it Kaichou?"

"It seems that my remaining pawns are not enough. The bishop and knight too."

"Then that leaves the Rook."

"Yes. In the name of Sona Sitri, I command you, Issei Houdou, to rise once more and become my rook! My will shall be thy body and my fate shall be thy blade! Adhere to my will, to my reason, and answer the beckoning of my contract!"

"This…. Contract…. I …. Accept…"

* * *

 **Dragon King of Escalating Loliconning**

* * *

 **Somewhere in DxD-verse**

The Infinite Dragon God's eyes snapped open. It had felt a pulse of power similar to it and it's anathema's.

A gleam appeared in its eyes. If it could somehow use the holder of that power, it can eliminate it's anathema.

The Ouroboros would claim its silence. Even if it means the end of this world.

* * *

 **Loliconning King of Dragon Escalation**

* * *

 **Somewhere in the Dimension Gap**

 **"Hahahahaha! I can see why that Bloodsucker keeps doing this! Entertain me more, O new Dragon King!"**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my OC.

Synopsis: At the top.

 **Dragon King of Escalation**

I woke up with a throbbing headache, as if I drowned myself in alcohol.

The right side of my body feels heavy too.

Strange.

Usually, my entire body would feel sluggish and heavy during the days I woke up bad.

My left hand fumbled around the drawer beside my bed.

Fun fact: Hyoudou Issei also has minor Astigmatism in this world but he only uses his glasses at home.

I know that Issei has no ocular problems whatsoever in canon. I'm looking at you, Great Red.

Anyways, my left hand finally found my glasses. As I put it on, the weight on my right shifted.

"Oh my, I didn't know you wear glasses, Hyoudou-kun." I inclined my head towards the direction of the voice and found myself staring at short black hair and violet eyes.

Okay. That's not what I am expecting.

Breathe... In... Out... In... Oh, Sona uses the same brand of shampoo as Mom?

Back to breathing... In... Out... Haaa...

WHY THE FUCK IS IT SONA?!

"And I didn't expect waking up beside a beautiful woman, Sitri-kaichou." I said.

And I'm not even lying. Sona is probably the most beautiful girl of the series for me. Intelligent, cunning, hardworking, average figure, kinda S and a little M, Short Haired, and most importantly, glasses.

And most importantly, she spent time and effort for everything she has. She planned and gathered her peerage, they didn't just drop in front of her. She spends lots of time and effort on strategies, not overly reliant on brute force.

Too bad she became too overspecialized. As it is, her peerage is basically useless without enough data.

"But as much as I appreciate the female figure, why?" I ask her.

"Why what exactly, Hyoudou-kun?" She replies as she stands up, baring everything to my eyes.

Of course I seared the memory of her majestic body into my mind.

"Why are you, the esteemed President, as bare as the day you were born, here in the room of a well known pervert?" I said as I stood up, proudly showing off my Yamato Cannon.

She raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"It seems that you are not what you show to be." She said with a small laugh at the end.

"That doesn't really answer my question." I said as I move to wear my clothes.

"Hmmm~ Is my body really not that appealing to you, Hyoudou-kun?" She said as she placed her hands on her hips, showing off her hairless body.

"Believe me, it's taking all of my willpower stopping myself from ravishing you like a wolf in heat." I reply.

"Ara~ But what if I wanted to be ravaged by a big bad wolf? Isn't that reason enough to be in the room of one?" She shot back with a smirk.

"The amount of bovine fecal matter in that sentence is overflowing." I said with a deadpan as I face her, now fully clothed.

And she is still naked...

Oh my! Could it be?

"Kaichou is a pervert?"

My cool Kaichou cannot be this perverted!

She giggles, jiggling her modest breast.

"Everyone has a hidden side to them, Hyoudou-kun. You showed me yours, I'll show you mine." My God- Ouch!- Phrasing!

Shit my willpower is waning! Stay still my junior!

Noticing my discomfort, Sona giggles and snapped her fingers.

In a flash of light, she became fully clothed in Kuoh School Uniform.

"I want to learn that trick." I said, looking dead serious.

"You will, Hyoudou-kun," Sona said. "But I'm curious that you are not surprised."

"I'm perfectly sure I got disemboweled by a stripper crow yesterday," I replied. "That might've took all the fucks I could give this week."

"Oh my~ If you want answers, then come to the student council room this lunch." With those words, a sigil bloomed under her.

A flash of light and she's no longer there.

"It seems... that canon is off the rails." I mumbled to no one. "Wait, forget the rails, the train is gone."

"Ise! Breakfast is ready!" Mom shouted from outside the room.

Rootdammit! My monologue atmosphere is broken!

"Coming mom!"

0~0~0~0

 **Dragon King of Loliconning**

0~0~0~0

 **Somewhere in the Dimension Gap**

 **"You need something?"**

"I, curious. Champion?"

 **"Oh him? He's my answer to you and your band of little misfits. My offer still stands."**

"Annoying. I, reject. Silence will be mine."

 **"You can try, but you'll never find it here."**


End file.
